Title: Cliff Jumping with Angels
Featuring: Change In Spades
Date: Summer 2009
Location: Forever In My Head

Summer 2009

“You're really gonna do it aren't you?”

Nitz set his backpack on the bar stool with a thud. His smile was one of happiness, one of excitement.

“You bet I am Van Ray. Got the call last night.”

“There's gotta be something... I dunno, less PSYCHOTIC that you can do for a weekend away.” Leticia polished off her drink and quickly asked for another before Nitz could reply. She suddenly felt like she needed it thinking about what her childhood friend was about to embark on. Vance seemed to agree.

“Yeah man, I've raced cars, I've fought guys bigger and stronger than me and I've been hit by a semi while being locked inside a camper trailer. Never before have I been crazy enough to try cliff jumping.”

“Did you say cliff jumping?” The bartender looked over while pouring the refill for Leticia. The way his features lit up upon the mere mention of the death defying activity made the two friends against the action frown a little.

“Yeah Gil, going for the weekend.” The excitement was more than obvious in Donnelly's voice. There was even an extra bounce in his step.

“It's a fuckin' rush man. Never felt anything like it.”

“So I've heard. It's been eating at me for weeks since it was mentioned to me and now I'm going.” Nitz replied, twisting the cap off his bottle of beer. His confidence was unwavering, almost unnatural in and of itself. Most people wouldn't have such confidence if they were to leap from a cliff into a potentially shallow pool of water.

Just a few weeks earlier a couple of the fighters at the gym had mentioned that they might need another guy to go cliff jumping with them. It was immediately after that, that Nitz was in front of a computer screen looking up amateur videos of what he originally thought was a crazy way to spend a weekend. His opinion soon changed and his initial resistance dissolved almost immediately. He was on the phone shortly after and confirmed his interest in filling the open spot on the trip.

“You'll have a blast Nicky. I know I did.” Gil dumped a can full of beer nuts into the empty tray in front of the trio as he spoke.

“Well dare devil, best be pulling that beer back a little faster. You got three to catch up to Vance.” Leticia explained, the worry for her friend evident in her voice. Nitz however paid it no mind.

“Not a chance Letty. Sorry Van but I've got a long drive ahead of me and this will be the only brew I pour back before I leap from the jagged rocks of a cliff and supposedly plunge to my death according to you. Gotta keep legal.” He smiled at his sadistic description knowing that it was exactly what Leticia said to him on the phone as soon as she found out his plans.

“Way to make me feel confident in letting you do this Nick.” She stared down at her shoes trying to convince herself that she could convince Nitz to change his mind. She knew she wouldn't be able to but it was worth a shot in her head.

“Someone needs a hug.” Nitz opened his arms and Leticia stepped right into them, sinking in and letting the concern ooze from her pores onto Donnelly.

“I want you to be careful. Don't hurt yourself for the love of...”

“I gotcha Letty. I promise I'll be back in no time and we'll go bowling Monday like we normally do.”

“She'll hold ya to that buddy.” Vance fist bumped Nitz's shoulder lightly as soon as the hug ended.

“OK guys I gotta go. I wanna avoid the weekend traffic on the highway.” Nitz picked up his backpack and held Leticia's hand briefly before letting it go. She slumped back onto her stool but flashed a slight smile to let Vance know she was alright.

A brunette woman cut right in front of Nitz at the exit and pulled the door open, almost hitting him with it. Her large tacky sunglasses outlined and hid her eyes and a birthmark was visible on her cheek. Try and try as he might, he just couldn't hold back.

“Fuckin' rude bitch.” She immediately turned to scoff at him as soon as the words escaped his lips. He then waved as he disappeared from the pub.

“Fucker better have a guardian angel with him.” Vance poured the rest of his fourth beer in his mouth while Leticia nodded in agreement.


|~o~|


It was a mere twenty-five minutes later and Nitz was already on the highway. The clouds had quickly formed overhead in the last ten minutes. The first drops of rain splattered on the windshield but they were no match for the wipers even as they increased exponentially.

“Rain better fuckin' stop before I get there.”

His mind wandered. He truly didn't understand Leticia's sudden worry. His job put him in legit danger day in and day out, but a simple cliff jump had her near tears. He never dared question her, but he had to wonder why the turn in her feelings. For a moment, back at the pub he found her persistence wearing on him to the point where he was doubting his plans.

But this was his weekend of fun and he knew that he'd regret his decision if he said no. So he was going to make the most of it and he couldn't deny his utter excitement. He actually felt that the cards were dealt and his mind was made up long before he confirmed his participation in the weekend getaway. That is if he actually believed in that sorta thing. However, he didn't need to believe in that sort of thing cause it was irrelevant. For he couldn't see into the future and the events about to take place.

He reached over to adjust the station on his satellite radio. As he was flipping through the channels, his attention was quickly drawn away by the sounds of car and truck horns honking simultaneously. As soon as his eyes met the road, he saw the imposing grill of a big rig making it's way directly towards him. He thought about swerving to the right of the road, but thought better of it as the last minute choosing to avoid the rock face just outside the shoulder. Instead, he veered left narrowly missing the solid steel bumper of the eighteen wheeler. He was out of control, the little bit of water on the road making it slippery enough for him to not regain his bearings behind the wheel. His rear bumper slid towards the barricade outside the shoulder of the oncoming lane as his front end swung wildly around. Another big rig narrowly missed him and clipped another car, sending it straight through the barricade behind him. The wheels slid a bit more on both cars as Nitz's erratic steering did nothing to solve his impending disaster.

The edge seemed to take forever to come yet it was split seconds beyond the barrier on the side of the highway. Many cars still on the road collided and the second big rig skimmed the railing and came to a sudden stop. Nitz and the other car were not so lucky as they skidded on the final few feet of gravel and toppled over the edge, sending the cars flipping end over end down a somewhat steep and muddy slope. It all developed in slow motion to Nitz but events couldn't unfold more suddenly in reality. It was shocking, however shock wasn't the first thing on his mind as his body floated away from the seat of his car and rested against the seat belt for the single millisecond the car was upside down in the midst of it's countless flips. The rotating vehicle struck a few trees and slid in between a couple others, closely followed by the second car that was flipping a little slower. After disappearing behind the trees, the end of the hill came quickly and the car landed directly on it's roof at the bottom. He had no idea that another car had come down the hill with him as his consciousness was compromised throughout the entire accident. It came to a rest on it's roof also, but was tilted slightly as it also landed on Nitz's overturned front wheels. Back up on the road, about a dozen and a half vehicles had all collided and a semi was left on the brink of disaster having bent the steel barricade. The only two vehicles that were unlucky enough to topple down the cliff side were left in shambles with broken glass and twisted metal littering the mud puddles below.


|~o~|


The darkness that invaded my vision was slowly being transformed to light, but not much of it. My eye lids struggled to part, almost telling me themselves that I didn't want to see what I had gotten myself into. It was almost like a message from my own body but I was stubborn. Even as my head pounded and every drop of rain hitting any surface felt like the pounding of a steel drum I had the urge to see the mess before me.

It all slowed down to a crawl when it happened. The squealing of the tires on the damp pavement, the honking of horns from each and every car and truck on the highway and the unnatural twisting and contorting of steel, plastic, fibreglass and any other material such vehicles were made out of. I could see every flip of the car in detail even as my consciousness failed me. I saw almost every shrub and every tree in disturbing detail before my car struck the foot of the cliff. I know I blacked out after the impact of my roof in the mud, but I'm unsure for how long. I did feel a hard thud as something else struck the front of my vehicle, but at that point I was too dazed and confused to care.

It took a few minutes for my eyes to adjust, but the color of crimson also hindered my ability to see clearly. I attempted to lift my left hand to see exactly what it was, even though I already knew but it hurt to try. It was jammed between the door and the seat belt and surely I had separated the damn thing. So I moved my right to my forehead and took a quick glance at what was left behind. It was a hearty helping of blood and it was obvious I had been bleeding ever since the impact. I just relaxed and because I was upside down my free arm dangled over my head. I felt the wetness of water, but there was also a gritty sensation between the fingers. I twisted my neck and the sight that I took in almost made me want to vomit.

The crimson blood mixed with the ugly brown of the mud puddles creating a sickening concoction. The roof was my car was actually buried a bit under the water. I finally just relaxed my whole body, knowing that I was stuck. I couldn't hear any voices in the distance so it was quite clear that with the magnitude of the accident on the street above, help was far away from finding me.

Or finding us, as I found out.

“He.... HELLO?!”

Her voice was weak, with a short labored breath taken in between. If she was constricted as I was, it was possible she had some broken ribs at the very least. I tried to open my mouth in response, but a burning pain rippled through my entire chest and upper body as I took the breath. I fought to get the words out.

“Who's there?”

No response. I took as deep of a breath as I could without passing out from the pain and gave it another go.

“HELLO?!”

I heard a weak sigh, possibly out of relief that at least there was another live human being nearby.

“I'm stuck...” She said, with evidence of pain and crying in her voice.

“You're not the only one.” I replied, trying desperately to free my other arm. Without full use of it, the effort was almost completely put to waste.

“HELP! HELP PLEASE!” She cried out. I could gather that it wasn't directed at me but it was more of a plea for the both of us. To help appease her, as she was probably a lot more scared than I was, I echoed her begging without any response. I could hear her crying more audibly now as it hit her that we were in a definite predicament.

“Are you OK? I mean are you badly injured?”

“My entire body hurts and ow... covered in blood.”

The poor girl. She sounded young, possibly more so than me. I couldn't help but feel sorry for her even though I was in just as much of a mess myself. I tried to calm her nerves a little.

“Someone will be around to help us, so just keep talking to me. I'm Nicholas.”

“I'll try but it's hard... I'm Monica... hurts... so much.”

It sounded like she wanted to continue but the pain won out, forcing her to take a rest from speaking.

“Monica, we need to keep speaking. I'm here for you until someone finds us.”

No response, at least not right away. I gave her a minute or so to respond as I could hear her shallow labored breathing still.

“I... thank you... I'm trying.”

Now I had really jammed myself up, I told her to keep talking, but this wasn't a situation where you share life stories and get to know one another. I was completely drawing a blank on what to say next. Some support system I had.

“I... I was supposed to be going cliff jumping. Obviously this isn't exactly what I had in mind.”

Was that a giggle I heard? I was sure that it was but I was not going to question it. Instead I relaxed and enjoyed her beautiful laugh which made me want to help her even more.

“Monica, hang on. I'm gonna try to free myself.”

I had no idea what to try first as I had no implements to use at the moment. I remembered there was a crowbar in the trunk, but some good that did.

“I've already tried myself... the door caved in on my leg.”

I cringed at the mere thought. I had to get free, I had to help her. I was the only hope that was within shouting distance for her and I knew it. Clearly she was in worse shape than I was. After some thinking and some observance of my surroundings, I couldn't see any objects within reaching distance. I thrust my free hand down into the crimson and brown water and tried to dig something, anything out of the mess. I was coming up empty handed however and gave up a moment after.

I looked over towards the passenger side of the car an found nothing there either. I sighed loudly, catching a glimpse of myself in the rear view mirror that was cracked but still in place after most of the windshield was broken away. I looked rough, covered in a red mask.

“Nicholas...”

Then it hit me. The mirror, the glass. I could use it to cut myself free.

“I'm scared...”

I could feel the blood trickle over my face and to the top of my head. I was starting to get dizzy from being stuck in an upside down position for so long. I reached over and grabbed the mirror and used every ounce of strength in my body to break it away from it's mount. I then smacked it against the steering wheel a couple of times until the glass broke. It wasn't enough to shatter it, but it cracked nicely in a few places, leaving a larger piece to pull out to use. It was really the only thing I could do.

“I'm... dy-dying...”

Oh no you don't Monica. Oh please don't. You have to stay with me.

“I'm going to cut myself free using a piece of glass. But I'm probably gonna cut myself, so ignore any cries of pain from me.”

No response. All I could hear was the labored breathing coming from her car again. I used my finger nail to pry the large piece of glass from the frame of the mirror. As soon as I had it removed, I gripped it and let the mirror fall. I was only working with one hand so it was difficult and I felt the jagged edge dig into my skin, causing me to ex spell even more blood from other cuts. I grimaced in pain as I brought the glass over to my left shoulder and began to move it back and forth slowly, possibly cutting into myself more than I was the seat belt.

“I don't want to die...” She begged, causing a tear to fall from my eye. My hand was a blur, moving so fast that I could barely concentrate on the details of how I was possibly hurting myself. My only goal was to get free, to help Monica any way I could.

She stopped talking and her breathing became less and less. I was flailing like a madman now with the piece of glass, cutting my hand into oblivion. I had slipped once and grazed my shoulder. Blood began to lightly flow from that wound too.

“Monica, Monica stay with me, I'm almost free!”

I heard no response and I had lied. I had only cut though a portion of the belt and had a bit to go yet. Strange that seat belts are meant to save lives yet I was fighting to get out of mine to save another.

I yelled, growing frustrated that it seemed I was working in slow motion. The roar echoed through the entire area, possibly heard above at the accident site. Surely by now they had to realize that someone flipped down the hill amongst the possible carnage on the road.

I was crying, the salty tears mixing with my already sanguine complexion. My head was contorted, no longer completely upside down as my arm tired from cutting. I tasted a small bit of the mixture of body fluids, not by choice, and gagged at the tin tasting result.

I was ready to give up. My arm was so tired from cutting so fast and Monica hadn't said anything for a while. I was certain, even though I swore I could hear some very faint exhaling, that there would be one sure fatality.

But a noise piercing my hearing and opened my eyes wide as saucers. I tried to gather my thoughts, wondering if I really heard what I thought I heard. I waited for it again.

I suddenly had the patience of a saint as I continued to hear nothing.

Then... a cry.

Not a grown woman, not an adult.

“M-my... babyyyyy...”

Monica's words trailed off, but I could have heard them from a mile away. Suddenly a burst of adrenaline coursed through my veins and I had strength anew. Gripping the piece of glass with a purpose, I sliced through the seat belt in what felts like only a mere minute, but with tunnel vision taking over my mind it could have been longer. The pain in my hand was gone, even though every stroke I took caused the glass to cut a tiny bit deeper. As soon as the seat belt tore in half, I heard the whipping of the material through it's holdings. I tossed the glass aside just in time to attempt to break my fall.

My bad shoulder struck the water and eventually the roof first. The water was deeper than I remembered just a few minutes earlier. The pain in my useless arm was sharp, but noting could keep me from crawling out of the car. The sound of the baby crying again willing me out the broken window of the drivers side. It took a bit more effort to get to my knees, and my feet eventually followed as I tried to clear the dizziness. I stumbled in the muck, holding on to the overturned car for support. The water and dirt overflowed into my shoes and socks but my focus was clear ahead. I heard some struggling and then I saw some hair.

It was dark, although the wetness of the water and blood made it glisten. She rose up, but sidestepped and fell as I made my way over. Her leg was badly damaged and she possibly twisted it unnaturally on purpose to free herself from her metal prison.

The sharp screech of more twisting metal was heard on the hill above us as some people started to scream. I needed to work fast. I took a single look over Monica and she nodded slightly as I headed to the back door. It was a heart wrenching site indeed as I forced the door to open as much as I could with the mud in the way. The back of the roof was buried in the hill, the water invaded the rear and puddled around the headliner where the child was. She had to be going on about three years of age and had a slight cut on her adorable face. The little darling began to cry once I put my hands around her to try and undo the fastenings. They were easy to release and even the pain in my separated shoulder wasn't enough to keep me from saving this little girl.

“Hurry Nicholas...”

Her voice was like a whisper, a gust of wind. But sure enough, the quaking of the ground told me something was coming down the side of the hill and probably pretty fast. I released the final clasp and the girl was now firmly in my arm. I backed out of the car and Monica was trying her best, though with very little strength to pull me away from the car. I stumbled a little at first, removing my shirt to wrap around the child. Then I followed her towards a single tree about fifty feet in front of us along the hillside.

It was then that I looked over and saw a nightmare come true. The lights broke one by one as the unit turned onto it's side. The rain had been falling heavily now as dirty water appeared in slight waves. The loud crash of metal against something else solid broke me from my straight forward trance as I flipped to my ass, protecting the girl as best as I could. Monica arrived first, standing at my side pulling herself along with only one healthy leg.

I sat in the filth, watching the horror conclude. I learned later a big rig that was teetering at the top of the road had broken it's supports, fallen and slid down the gravel, forcing it down the side of the cliff. The trees that we seemed to slide between on the way down had broken it's fall and it just suddenly stopped in a heap. As it struck, mounds of mud and water slid ahead of it. The truck had caused a mud slide as it descended and like a tsunami the thick soil flowed over both cars, literally burying half of them. The windows were now covered and the car seat where I was just a few moments earlier was completely encased in a substance thick as quicksand.

The rear window of the car Monica and her daughter were in broke out and the mud flooded the inside too, although some poured out the front as the car was tilted a little. I sighed incredibly loud as I saw flashlights and bright uniformed coming down the hillside tethered to safety lines. I looked at the child in my arms and even though the cut on her forehead looked a little worse than I originally thought, she was still very cute. It was then that I looked up to Monica who had come to stand beside me.

But I was looking up into a spade occupying nothing but air. I looked behind me.

Nothing again. Same to the left and in front of me.

I even looked up and saw the tree branches and leaves above me.

I looked down to where I thought Monica was standing and saw no footprints at all.

I felt a flashlight shine on me and the little girl, sure as this accident happened, was still in my arms. His bright uniform and urgency to run over to me was a welcome relief and he was followed by a second man. I had wondered if one of them had grabbed Monica already as the first one took hold of the baby, whom I suddenly had the urgency to hold onto even tighter. But I was no mater for him as he took her away and checked her out. The second man knelt beside me right were I swore Monica was standing. He was checking me out, noticing my left arm limp at my side.

“Wh-where is she?” I was dazed, my energy was gone. The words were forced.

“The baby is safe now sir and soon you will be too.”

“No... ugh... the woman I was with.”

He paused to look me in the eyes with question.

“What woman?”

I tried to catch my breath to form the words, but I was choking on the mix of rain water and blood. I coughed loudly and managed to form a couple words.

“She was-”

“SARGE!”

The man who was helping me turned around to look towards the cars that were covered. He was waving over to him... to us.

“We need help over here!”

My glazed over eyes tried to focus. I looked and saw a partial hole dug in the mud coming from the side window of Monica's car and saw the contrasting glow of white skin.

I screamed and took deep sharp breaths and used the last of my strength to pull me backwards towards the tree behind me. My eyes were wide, I was soaking wet and muddy but was not cold. Still, I shook like a leaf

I must've had a look of horror or maybe even shock on my face because the paramedic asked if I was alright. I only thought one final thing before I let them take control and help me medically.

“How in the hell was I supposed to answer that?”

|~o~|

I was taken to the police station to answer questions about the accident. I recited best as I could from my memory the events that transpired prior to sliding over the edge of the cliff. They nodded and it seemed like they got all the info they wanted on that matter.

“Is someone getting arrested?”

My tone was cold, uninviting and perhaps doused with a touch of anger. My arm was in a sling, my hand was bandaged up and I had a headache the size of California. Still, the adrenaline was pumping and the pain was second on my mind.

“Well there was more than one fatality on that road. It's gonna take a lot of cleaning up and a lot of investi-”

“Fuck that.”

The detective pursed his lips in the corner of the room and interrupted.

“What was that?”

“You heard me, I said fuck that. The mother of a little girl was found lying dead at the bottom of a cliff after being run off the road and no one is in custody?”

“Well Mr. Donnelly, the only suspect we have is the driver of the first truck who swerved in front of you. It's a busy highway and we're not sure what happened to cause him to drive erratically.”

“I'd kill him where he stood if I saw him right now...” I was in a dark place. I still swore I was standing beside a woman while I was saving that little girl's life. I know I saw her. Dark beautiful flowing hair even though it was wet and covered with blood. I know what I saw and I didn't give a shit if anyone else saw it.

“You might not have to... he's ummm in critical. Clock's ticking.”

“Not fast enough.” I stood up from my chair and limped over to the door, motioning to be let out. No one approached me at first. “Let me out of here.”

“Look, Mr. Donnelly, the results of her prelim came back. She died of blood loss and extreme trauma. The minutes you say you talked to her would have been her last no matter what you did. I'm sorry, but there's nothing you could have done for her.”

“Way to make me feel better asshole...” My remarks may have been harsh, but I was not in the mood to be playing nice right now. Sure, I'd thank the men who came down the hill and saved the little girl and I, but I couldn't show much concern for a man who was sitting on the other side of a desk in a nice tidy suit and tie while I felt ravaged by a pack of Wolves and left for dead. He could never know the trauma and the heartache that day caused me.

“I want to see Monica.”


|~o~|


Given a few minutes and possibly a few breaches in access, I was standing beside a cold stainless steel table. The entire room was eerie, almost haunting in nature. I'd never been in a hospital morgue before.

She was covered by a sheet, but she was just the way I remembered seeing her. A tear fell from my eye as I looked in her face, almost wishing for some movement. Heck, the supernatural already occurred for me once. Why not again?

As I studied her, I noticed a small birthmark on her right cheek. I dunno if it was because my mind wished to forget about the day's events, but I ignored my surprise upon seeing it. She looked like a sweet girl, I'm sure her family and especially her daughter loved her and I wasn't about to let some one off incident earlier in the day tarnish who I thought she was inside even after only talking for a few minutes in the circumstances we were in. She was probably in a rush.

Fact remained, she was too fucking young to go.

I nodded at the man standing across from me and he covered her face up with the sheet. I hung my head, almost in a prayer even though I'm not a believer. Try as I might, I'd never be able to hide my pain and my sympathy for her. She didn't want to die, she told me that. Just somehow, in death she spoke to me. She made me aware of the baby after it screamed. Apparently the child was unconscious for a period of time and the baby seat became twisted. She had no visual of her mother dying right before her eyes and thank god even though the she might not have been able to comprehend what was happening.

I blinked a couple times and turned to leave the room. I was met at the door by Leticia who got the phone call about the accident.

“Oh my god Nicky! What happened to you?!” She looked me over and pulled on my shirt to get us out of there, but I stopped. “Nick what's...”

I never let her finish. Standing just down the hall was a man. He was rather tall, somewhat husky and he had an empty look on his face. He approached me and I began to get a feel what the situation was about. He stopped directly in front of me as Leticia backed behind me a little, saying she was going to wait in the car with Vance. He looked at my arm in the sling, the numerous bandages and other wounds on my body. He saw the still damp tears rolling down my cheek.

He reached out and hugged me... and I hugged him back best as I could.

“Thank you for saving my daughter.”

He was crying into my shoulder. No amount of thank you's could bring proper light to what I had done. I had saved his little girl, the only living piece of his dearly departed. I had discovered earlier from the police that they were not married, but were talking about it. Their daughter of course was their pride and joy.

It was then that I saw her led around a corner by a police officer and I couldn't help by flash a small smile as I began to cry anew. Her forehead had a large bandage and she had some bruising but she really was not any more worse for the wear.

She saw her father turn to her and she ran to his side. He bent down to look at her and then he turned to me.

“Sweetie, this is the man I told you about.”

She smiled innocently.

“I'm Julie.” her voice was so sweet I couldn't help but smile even more.

“Hi Julie, I'm Nick.”

She reached her arms up to me and I knelt down as best as I could. She wrapped her tiny little arms around me, hugging my neck quite tight.

“Thank you for saving me...”

I broke down right there. The whole days pain came out then and there that I just sobbed as I held Julie in my arms.

“...Uncle Nick.”

Those words still ring in my head to this day but I remember the very next time she used them.

“Uncle Nick.”

It was a few days later and we stood in the chapel, Julie reaching her arms up to me. I smiled just a little and picked her up, letting her head rest on my shoulder. I approached the front, joining the man who I now knew as Ted. I patted him on the back and he returned the favor as he then lightly held the cheek of his daughter. We all looked down at the same time with sad faces, seeing Monica resting comfortably.

“I love you Mommy.” My heart broke as Julie quietly spoke those words, just for us to hear.

The flowers were all arranged wonderfully around Monica. She looked like a goddess, royalty perhaps. But after reciting my story in all it's detail to Leticia, she couldn't help but recall what Vance said as I was leaving to hit the highway that day. I had to agree and I bid one fond farewell to the woman I barely knew but didn't need to, the one who willed me to save myself and her daughter.

“My Guardian Angel.”
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